Do lesbians have better sex than straight women?
According to several analyzes, the answer is a echoing yes. So, heres what lesbian sexuality can teach us about female pleasure
Do lesbians have better sex than heterosexual females? Yes. Yes. Oh my God, yes! Women who sleep with women repeatedly report higher levels of sexual satisfaction in surveys and studies than women who have sex with men.
A Public Health England survey of more than 7,000 girls last month found that half of respondents aged between 25 and 34 did not enjoy their sex life. The percentage dropped to 29% among 55 – to 64 -year-olds, suggesting that sexuality for women gets better with age.
Sue Mann, the public health consultant involved in the research, said: Enjoying a fulfilling sexuality life is important for womens mental and emotional wellbeing. This is true, of course. Bizarrely, though, when asked about the breakdown of womens sexualities in the study, PHE said it had not collected the information collected from respondents; instead, outcomes were categorised by locating, deprivation, ethnicity, religion, marital status and age.
But previous global research been shown that women who have sex with women are likely more likely to be in the half that did not report sex dissatisfaction. A 2014 analyze by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that lesbians orgasmed 75% of the time during sex, compared with 61% for heterosexual women. The sexual orientation of men, however, did not appear to have much effect on their rates of orgasm lesbian humen reported arriving 85% of the time, while for heterosexual humen it was 86%.
A much larger study in 2017 of 53, 000 Americans by the Kinsey Institute recorded slightly different numbers, but with the same tendencies. In this instance, lesbians reported arriving 86% of the time during sexuality, as opposed to 65% for straight females. Straight humen said they orgasmed 95% of the time.
So, where is lesbian sex running right for women where heterosexual sex is going wrong? Its simple, tells Matty Silver, a sex health therapist are stationed in Australia. Lesbian girls know where their clitoris is and know what to do with it to get an orgasm. They dont need to show their lesbian partner what to do, which entails their sex satisfaction is higher.
There are many men who believe they can give their partners an orgasm by just having intercourse, she adds. That only happens for 20% of all women. They often need clitoral stimulation, or oral sex, for it to happen. It is one of the reasons that many heterosexual girls fake their orgasm.
Silver says lesbian couples rarely visit her for counselling relating to sex issues, but instead for general relationship queries, as with any couple.
Of course, anyone approaching sex for the first time will encounter a learn curve, but the anatomical familiarity of a woman sleeping with a woman rings true as integral to high levels of satisfaction.
Jessica Burgess, a 26 -year-old playwright based in Brighton who has slept with men and women( and a cis human who then identified as genderqueer ), tells: Women are at a huge advantage when it comes to knowing how to build other women feel good. Theyve done it before to themselves, numerous hours. They know what a clit is and they have realistic expectations about how quickly women are able to reach orgasm.
In 2008, 92% of female respondents to a survey said they masturbate two-thirds of them up to three times a week. This is a leap from 74% in 1993 and 62% in 1953, when women were probably lying, or abiding by sexually repressive codes.
Alongside the sexologist Betty Dodson, Carlin Ross runs a feminist-centred sexual education charity with the tagline: Better Orgasms. Better World. Their website features tips-off, sex-toy reviews, workshops on overcoming negative body image and pleasure nervousnes, and Bettys sketches of the six different vulva styles( variations include baroque, gothic, Renaissance and modern ). The key to sex satisfaction, whether same-sex or heterosexual, is masturbation, Ross says.
The absolute best way to improve your sex life is to improve your masturbation practise, she tells. When we know how to give ourselves an orgasm, we know how to communicate our sexual needs to our partners. It seems counterintuitive, but improving our relationship with ourselves improves our relationships with others and our sexual gratification.
What this entails is practising consciousness masturbation. Blocking out an hour for ourselves. Getting some good natural oil that will increase sensation. Touching our lubricated genitals and then practising clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration at the same time.
But it is not just about get the practice in. Jessica says that women tend to be better at listening and communicating in bed( and perhaps outside of the bedroom, too it is not clear whether those abundant news tales about girls speaking thousands more terms a day than humen stand up, but understanding and empathy are areas in which women excel ). There is a strong emotional connection between females, too.
Alice Martin, a 20 -year-old trans lesbian, tells the same. As a woman having sexuality with another woman, its a entirely mind-bending experience. The mix of care, love, romance, pleasure, emotion and intensity is something that I never experienced with men.
One of the biggest culprits for this may be the amount of pornography induced for and marketed to straight men. A headline in the Daily Telegraph last year declared that All humen watch porn, after a university analyze in the US. We started our research seeking humen in their 20 s who had never ingested pornography, told Prof Simon Louis Lajeunesse at the time. We couldnt find any.
According to the study, 90% of pornography intake was online, with 10% of men going to video stores( who knew they still existed ?). In 2015, more than 2bn web searches were pornography-related and pornography sites are often measured as more popular than social networks. It is not just heterosexual men who watch pornography, but the women I speak to who have slept with women and men note pornographys negative influence in their experience of heterosexual sexuality. These females do not watch lesbian-categorised pornography because, leaving aside an emerging market for pornography constructed exclusively by girls, lesbian pornography is mostly is targeted at men.
Burgess does not watch pornography precisely for this reason. In fact, in real life, there is a psychological advantage that comes with same-sex activity, in that you are making an active option to own your sexuality. Or, as Jessica sets it: Women get the real me, and I almost always experience an honest connection that allows me to be fully present and relaxed.
Then there is simple biology. When men ejaculate, most need to take a breather for their erection to make a comeback( this is known as the refractory period ). On the other hand, women can orgasm in waves. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve ending double that of the penis glans and its sole aim appears to be providing pleasure. Womens orgasms last for an average of 20 seconds, while humen last eight. The most orgasms recorded in an hour for a woman is 134( 16 for a human ). This induces it especially sad that so many heterosexual women are reporting understimulating sexuality lives.
So, for those women who are not going endlessly how can they improve their sex lives, whoever they may be with? As well as Rosss advice to masturbate a lot, the Kinsey Institute recommends more oral sex, better relationships, sexy talk, asking for what you want in bed and trying new positions, among other things.
Ross also recommends engaging your intellect in sex fictions and listening to erotica podcasts. Then there is copious cliterature and the boom in sex dolls. In 2016, the online sexuality doll retailer Lovehoney recorded a 68% growth in earnings( it is possible there was a Fifty Shades of Grey impact ).
But when it comes down to it, women have better sexuality with women because they understand one another physicality, communicate better, be concentrated on areas such as the clitoris knocking piercing from its pedestal and are more likely to focus on their partners pleasure. Keep at it to improve, Ross indicates: Sexuality begets more sex. And, hopefully, better sex.